The Monster Named Envy
Reflection Posted on Facebook on July 1, 2018
Sunday Reflection: When I inspire and push young people, my mentees, to achieve as much as their capacity and determination can allow them to achieve – I always fail to mention the sad caveats. Today, I will share based on experience (sad and tear-jerking ones) one warning. In this world, there are people who allow a monster so dangerous to control their minds, and often serve as a basis of their opinion of others – the name is ENVY. A sin. No one is free from this monster. But some just feed it so much, it grows and it destroys people around them. I grew up fighting this monster because it pushes me to despair, seeing how other kids have more than I have. I grew up conditioning myself that there are things I have more than others and I should be thankful for these things. I also conditioned myself to be happy for others, even when oftentimes I feel pained and jealous. I wired my brain to rejoice when people achieve things especially based on merit, and hard-work, and persistence. Sadly, and this I have to share to all my young mentees – when you work hard for something and receive the incidental fruits of your labor, like credentials, honours and positive impressions, there will be those who won’t be comfortable with that. They will always find faults in what you do. Along the way, you will hear your friends telling you – to slow down, don’t be ambitious, don’t do this, don’t do that. There will be those who will tell you – be normal, just be like everyone else, do not assume so much responsibility, do not assert your ideas, maybe short of just shut up. To my mentees, you will face these kind of people – who want you to stop dreaming. And stop achieving. In this world, we always love the underdog – without realising how the achievers feel. Some of us will always be faulted for being headstrong, when others are not. They will always accuse us of being opinionated, boastful, bossy and many words, at times we cannot swallow. I wonder if instead of ideas, guidance, instruction, or advise, we give away money, maybe they will call us philanthropists. In organisations, our ideas are oftentimes quelled because it comes out “strong” – so even if the ideas are good, it’s not good. Sadly, the worst for envy is one which is used as a tool for others who think they can leap ahead by pulling people down. Leaders who think that when they pull down other leaders – they achieve more. To my mentees, there is nothing wrong with being proud about your achievements for as long as you deserve it and work hard for it – own it. And when others pull you down, believing they can speed ahead of you, don’t mind them – you are not trying your best for these people. We only have one life – stay away from people and organisations that are obsessed in trying destroy your accomplishments as a means to accomplish what they need to accomplish. Instead find those who wants to work with you, likes to share their ideas with you as you share ideas with them, honestly want to see you grow and achieve. It’s hard to find these people. But you do not need many in this lifetime.